While I was sleeping

I had a frightful nightmare. The kind of nightmare that you are so thankful to wake up from. So grateful that what seemed so real during the dream was not.

Let me just preface this by saying it was one of those dreams where you are experiencing a "normal" daily activity, but the surroundings, people and time frames are all skewed a bit. You are in a building you normally go to, but it is different, but still the same, you know? People from your past arrive in your present like it is a totally normal thing. Time is meaningful in the circumstance, but skewed in real time.

Last night I dreamt about giving my talk in church that I'm scheduled to give this coming Sunday. I arrived at the chapel without my family and sat in the back of the cultural hall next to Laura Munk. I had a mess of papers stacked on my lap that were crumpled and torn and unfortunately, without the words of my talk. I knew I was giving a talk, but had no inclination to sit on the stand, as tradition would dictate.

The speaker before me was Jo Moore (from a different congregation and time) and she was on the stand talking in a very animated way about preparedness. She also had several metal racks up with her that were stocked full of everyday essentials like toilet paper, cereal boxes, nail polish and shampoo. While she was instructing the congregation on preparedness she began inviting women in the crowd to come up and "shop for free" from these racks, in order to increase your food storage and emergency essentials. Me and several other women were perusing the racks picking out various sundries all the while the bishopric was looking flabbergasted and agitated. We all ignored their obvious disapproval and filled our arms with the goods. Also, the chapel had a large timer/clock that was digital and kind of reminiscent of a shot clock timer from a basketball game. When the speaker stared his or her talk the timer would set for 12:00 minutes and count down. If you weren't finished with your talk by the time the clock hit zero it would buzz, like in a game, and you would be shamed and relegated to your seat. This happened to Jo and once she stepped down, I stepped up. I grabbed my stack of papers, confirmed my talk was not with me and told the audience that I had nothing to say and sat down.

Then I woke up and breathed a sigh of relief.

I do think there is meaning in my dream.

1. The last talk I gave in church was on preparedness and I totally glossed over food storage and emergency essentials because they are discussed endlessly and I focused more on spiritual preparedness.

2. I have been struggling with the topic I was assigned this time. That being Living a Balanced Life. I don't feel very passionately about it. Usually I'm very opinionated about my topic, but this time I feel quite uninterested. I think it is because I'm naturally a very balanced person. Moderation comes easily to me. I don't say that to boast, it is more of a personality thing. So, since balance is kinda second nature to me I'm having a hard time articulating the way to be balance, because I just am balanced, you know? So, that is probably why I got up to give my talk in the dream and told everyone I had nothing to say.

So, there you go. If you're not a member of the LDS church much of this may seem odd and I apologize. If I were nicer I would explain all the nuainces but, I'm not really that nice, I'm more of the kind type and I'm sleepy.