My 20 year

I've had a handful of people ask me when I'm going to write about my 20 year high school reunion that happened this past weekend. I guess they are just dying for all the juicy details of how the rich kids ending up as pathetic leeches on their placating hoity toity parents or how the one kid who always showed up to school stoned was once again high as a kite when he walked into the reunion. But really, that didn't happen. Almost everyone was pretty much normal and no real "drama" went on. Yeah, I know- boo hiss.

What surprised me the most:

I had a really hard time recognizing about 30% of the guys. Back in h.s. so many of the boys were tiny, I'm talking all bones and no mass. And I was some sort of huge amazon who weighed 25 pounds more than them and was 4-5 inches taller. So many of them had spindly little legs, knobby shoulders and an uneven spread of peach fuzz for facial hair. Now, 20 yrs. later, their like men. Real grown up tall, muscular, beard growing, could beat me up in a dark alley men. And, since I never really saw the transformation happen in person, I had a hard time picking them out of a crowd and labeling them correctly. And, because the name tags were pale and hard to read, I couldn't rely on them to help me out.

All the hugging. I haven't hugged that many people in such a short period of time since my wedding day. I'm not really a huge hugger in general. I mean I love hugging my man and my kiddos, but I don't normally hug people that I have just been introduced to again after 20 yrs, and who I know I never hugged back in high school. But, then I came to love hugging as the night wore on. I started judging our relationships that night by how we hugged. Lots of the hugs were perfunctory. Like we are hugging, but lets not really let our bodies touch. Okay, I hear ya on that. But, some of the hugs were nice, like you rock and I wish we could be next door neighbors from this day forward. I liked those the most. I couldn't always tell what kind of hug I was going to get (I gave hugs that went with what the other person was willing to put out there. A light hugger, okay, I'll go that way. I'm not offended. Or, perhaps someone really puts on the squeeze- verging on a bear hug, by golly, lets go for it!) What really threw me though was when I would hug someone who I had hugged in high school and they denied me a nice hug in return. It was kinda like, yeah, I liked you back then, but now, not so much. Seriously, this is the problem with high school reunions. You read so much into everything because the only thing you have to base your judgements on come from rocky/scandalous/neurotic relationships that happened two decades ago.

How many people were smokers. It was kind of sad.

The most important things I learned:

I had absolutely no idea how a bar works. Obviously, I had no intentions of ordering an alcoholic drink a the reunion, but I did have a little slip of paper someone gave me that entitled me to a free drink at the bar. So, after consuming a dozen glasses of water early in the evening (it was seriously hot in there) I decided that if I was going to continue on in the funtivities, I was going to have to have a bit 'o caffeine. So, I headed to the bar (this journey alone can take a good 45 minutes because as you traverse through the throngs of people between you and the bar you have to get to stop and chat with a dozen people on the way there and another dozen on the way back). So, once I had finally made it to the bar, I couldn't really figure out how to get the bartenders attention to get a drink. Seriously, I was confused. So, I stood there. And stood there and then I stood there as little longer. Finally, a sweet old friend of mine, who saw me and knew my great inexperience in this particular scenario, came to my rescue and helped me get a coke. People, I needed help getting myself a coke! Oi vey. And, right after he so kindly helped me he told the bartender that he wanted to pay his bar tab. So, the bartender pulls out a gigantic wad of debit/credit cards and starts looking through them like a huge deck of cards. And, of course me and my big mouth starts running off and I'm start asking questions like "What in the world?" "Why does he have everyone's card?". Soon it's explained to me that that is how they do it. They keep your card for the night! I guess it is so no one drinks and dashes. I don't know. Weird!

Some people never stop being wenches. They were wenchy at 16 and they are still wenchy at 38. You kind of think they'll out grow it, but they don't. I guess it is their essence- who they really are deep down. Now, don't get me wrong, most people were perfectly awesome that it made me almost forgot that they made my life a living hell in Lou Evan's English class, but some people just played the same old card they always played back in the good old days. You would look them in the eyes and expect them to at least acknowledge you. Say hi or something and they'd look right through you like you didn't even exist. It was the classic brush off. Now, I didn't really have this happen to me exactly, but reliable sources tell me it happened to some of my friends.

You never know when you are going to meet your next bosom friend. I met mine Friday night and it was surreal. She (hi Wendy!) is married to a guy I went to high school with (I know, shocker). Anyways, as soon as I saw- and hugged her, I knew she and I were supposed to be together. It was weird and wonderful all in one magical moment. When she spoke it was like she read my mind! Her awesomeness was contagious and fun! (sorry about all the exclamation points, but bosom friends just make you feel that way!) I literally had to pull myself away from her, or rather she kicked me out of her circle, so I could continue mingling with the people I was actually there to visit with. The second night when I saw her again, I instantly hugged her and called her my BFF. Strange, huh? I'm not usually one to make super strong connections so quickly, but when you meet a kindred spirit, you just know it.

What did not surprise me:

Every single girl at the reunion looked awesome. Really, they all looked so stinkin' amazing it was truly a sight to behold. I had an inkling that they would- and that is why I tried so darn hard to put my best self out there because I knew the competition would be fierce, but boy howdy, it was staggering. I guess it taught me that most women look amazing at 38, or maybe just the really good looking ones decided to show up. Maybe the revenge factor was at play, I'm not sure. All I know that was I have a feeling some of the guys who treated some of those girls like crap way back when were thinking "What the heck was wrong with me in high school because Susie A. Bombshell is killin' it tonight!"

It was a hard night for me (actually it was two nights, but that is kind of confusing, so I've melded the whole experience into one big extravaganza and am labeling it one night for clarity). I'm horribly inept at superficial chit-chat. It just isn't in my personality spectrum. I do much better in small groups. So, the experience of getting to participate in copious amounts of chit-chat exhausted me to no end. It was like a marathon when you get to mile 24 and you just hit the wall. I tried hard. I did my best. But in the end I had to walk those last two miles because I just couldn't take it anymore. Once, I actually sat down at a table all by my little lonesome self and just sat there for 5-10 minutes so I could have a talking break. It was hard work, but in the end it did seem worth it, because it was so fun to catch up with fellow classmates that I truly love and adore. Seeing my old childhood friends was the pinnacle of the event. These are the people who I had sleepovers with, played on soccer teams and went to girls scouts with. These are the folks who knew my family intimately and I knew theirs. These are the friends who I shared a bowl of Trix cereal with after school and wrote silly little notes to during class. These are my old locker partners and rally team members. These people are my childhood and the reunion with them was pure sweetness.

So, in the end it was all good and I'm glad I went, but it does feel like a relief to have it over. The jury is out on whether or not I'll attend another high school reunion down the road.